How to keep yourself motivated when you aren’t accepted

Do you realize that you don’t often like things that are necessarily good for you? What you like is often different from what’s good. Right? Likewise, appreciation from others, likes on social media, rewards, etc aren’t necessarily things that denote whether you are good or not. What appeals to people isn’t what’s good. What appeals to people is what they like. Now, why do people like something? There could be several reasons for it :

  • an emotional connect 
  • A value-based connect
  • A feel-good factor
  • A need for favor 
  • A need to be liked 
  • Social hierarchy driving the need 
  • Your product meets their need or gap 
  • And lastly, if the ego issues among their own selves permit them to like it

Good or bad is always a relative measure. There’s nothing entirely good or bad. Based on each person’s personal standards, it differs. Something that might be exceptional for one stratum of society might be looked down upon by other strata. Something that might look path-breaking for people of certain educational background, might look too hi-fi or irrelevant for people from a different educational background. 

Even language plays an important role – if someone understands a language very well, they might appreciate your choice of words and diction. But they don’t, they might find it difficult to connect with your fluency. Worse still, it might just appear like you are showing off. And hence, become a reason for disconnect! However, it doesn’t necessarily mean you are bad or someone else is better.

It’s important to meet people where they are! But it is also important to not relinquish your standards permanently while doing so. Nor should you look down at others. Everyone is where they are to serve a reason or purpose in their life. Meet people where they are. And once done, get back to where you are, or where you need to be in your pursuit of excellence.

The judgment of good and bad are need-based, value-based, and emotion-based. 

Keep doing what you are doing. Don’t compare yourself to others’ standards, likes, rewards, or acceptance. There is a place for each of us and our individual excellence to thrive in this world. It’s not a number game. It’s different based on what you do when you do, how you do and society’s readiness for the some. Most people who we revere today weren’t accepted or acknowledged even, during their times. However, today we look up to them as exceptional contributors to our existence.

Keep your purpose clear at all times. Don’t be deterred by these frivolous distractions. Know that you are good – 

  • because you have tried
  • because you have given in your best
  • because you are doing what you are doing for a higher good
  • because you are not giving up. You keep at it

If you know that much, auto-certify yourself that you are good. And don’t worry, you won’t become complacent. You will be confident, motivated, and driven. You will refrain from being demotivated by negative stressors from the outside environment. You’ll be happy!

Having said that there’s no absolute measure for whether you are good or not, there’s a definite measure for when one is excellent and exceptional. This is easy – when you are an authority in your field – you know it inside-out, you are open for challenges not to prove your knowledge but to get some facts out into the world for the larger benefit of humankind – now you know and most will agree that you are exceptional.  

But not many actually get to that level. The biggest reason being – they get demotivated at the likes and dislikes milestone itself. To be exceptional, one needs to have big-picture thinking. That will help you look beyond the temporary criticisms, ego clashes, social acceptance, and other such things. No great things were built in a day or a year. Excellence takes a ton of practice, a hell-of-a-lot of perseverance, an open mind, and an ego that is ready to fail fast and learn fast. Sometimes, acceptance may not come while you are alive. But trust that if your heart has indicated you to be on a path, and your mind has persevered to stay on it – there must be a divine reason for the collective good of humanity. Someone, somewhere out there must be needing it. And it will be their guiding light. So, let your light shine at all costs! There’s no room for fear. There’s no room for doubt. There’s no possibility of a failure that doesn’t offer you immense learning. Trust yourself! We all have a place in this world – in the highest sense of the word. Believe it! Take it! Live it! And love it!

Narmada Rao
[email protected]
7 Comments
  • gsriramamurty
    Posted at 06:22h, 01 September Reply

    Good. God bless you.

  • arulbob
    Posted at 08:07h, 01 September Reply

    Very important message in the social media world

    • arulbob
      Posted at 08:22h, 01 September Reply

      Those days when we did not have social media, around 10-15 ppl might wish us for our Birthday and we would feel very delighted. We would get a few greeting cards too. Birthdays would be like festival.
      Today we get 100s of wishes on social media and we still feel as if it’s less. That has become a measure of our birthday celebration. And we dont go through all the wishes…we just put thank you for making my birthday special. The warmth that we got in those 15 wishes was always more meaningful than these 100s of wishes. The difference between real wishes & virtual wishes. FB will always make us believe that we have to do more; we have to get more comments; more likes; more photos.

      Appreciate your article. Your article led to these thoughts.

  • shashigulati
    Posted at 10:54h, 01 September Reply

    I find your post like High Mast Lighting.In its light I can see my flaws and strengths and give a direction to my thoughts and deeds.

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