When life’s unfair…

I always thought it has to be fair. Majority of my fights in life were for justice or my perception of it. After all these years, I have realised it’s not about justice always. For something to begin, something has to start and something has to end. In the process, justice may temporarily be off! The beginning of an end, is the beginning of much more than the end itself.

Who promised life will be fair anyway? I was only promised learning. It isn’t about justice always. It’s about my learning from them both and my ability to gather myself through it all. And again have the capacity to believe in something and stand up for something I believe in. 

It may not be fair. But I need to know that’s just the way it is and learn how to deal with it better. If I get stuck in the whole idea of it not being fair, I will find myself stuck at the same point for a very long time and not find a way out. Besides, what’s fair to me may not be fair to someone else. There’s always another perspective.

I don’t intend to justify what’s not fair or spend time rationalising it. But I wouldn’t want to waste all my time cribbing about it either. It definitely gets me nothing better even if I do that. Other than the fact that I will feel bitter, defeated and play a victim, there’s no good that comes off it. It renders me powerless in my own life. On the other hand, if I think to myself, yes, that’s unjust. But now what? What next? What should I do to deal with this? I’ll at least head somewhere thinking of that. Moving somewhere is better than being stuck and stagnant. 

Thinking of what I deserve might delude me from recognising what I got. That delusion can make me feel entitled and bitter. It’s not the world’s problem to grant me what I deserve. Why should it be? There are many who don’t get what they deserve. They are making their peace or trying to find their way out. And that’s the spirit. I am not here to whine and complain. I am here to rise and take charge. I am grateful when life is fair. I am humbled when it isn’t. 

Life is not fair or unfair. It is just what it was meant to be, to offer me my learning! By calling it something, I get myself into a web. It prevents me from understanding. It prevents me from looking at the bigger picture. It prevents me from learning what I was here to learn.

I may have given and not gotten it back. I may have worked twice as hard to get where I got. I may have lost more than I gained. I may have tried and failed. I may have paid for something that wasn’t even mine. But it’s just life offering me the learnings. That’s all it ever was! And that’s all it’ll ever be!

The choice is always mine

Whether I want to learn or whine!

And I think it’s about time

To look beyond my limited confines

And recognise the grander design!

Therein lies my peace sublime!

Narmada Rao
[email protected]
16 Comments
  • Aimy
    Posted at 21:04h, 06 July Reply

    A brilliant , insightful read ♥️

  • Mercy Ninan
    Posted at 01:41h, 07 July Reply

    True.
    Who promised life will be fair anyway? I was only promised learning
    I need to know that’s just the way it is and learn how to deal it better
    Whether I want to learn or whine.
    Superb

    • narmadarao
      Posted at 02:41h, 07 July Reply

      Thank you so much Mercy 🙂

    • Mercy Ninan
      Posted at 09:15h, 07 July Reply

      amazing it has taught me a lesson today. Well maybe i thought had to be fair always but no one has promised that a very thoughtful and inspiring theme to come with. I got a better insight into it. Thank you ma’am if u get any nice writings like this pls do send
      I asked one of my students to read Johanna 7th std student. This is her comment

      • narmadarao
        Posted at 09:37h, 07 July Reply

        Oh how sweet! Please thank Johanna on my behalf very much! It’s wonderful how she read it and connected the dots for herself so well👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 god bless her!

  • shashigulati
    Posted at 03:27h, 07 July Reply

    “Life is not fair or unfair. It is just what it was meant to be, to offer me my learning!” So true and relieving.The day I understood generally I am at peace with the circumstances life offers me. Being shaken for a while is like fall of a pebble in the river. This is the life which has brought me at this place(MYA)and get this insight
    Thankyou for keeping on our thoughts enriched and God bless you.

    • narmadarao
      Posted at 07:08h, 07 July Reply

      Thank you so much shashi ji 🙏

  • anilmackie
    Posted at 06:30h, 07 July Reply

    Wow. Nicely written. It got poetic towards the end. Great insight. Agree with you 100% “I’m not here to whine and complain. I’m here to take charge.” This sentence is like an affirmation too. Great article.

  • Bobbysam Thalikkunnel
    Posted at 09:17h, 07 July Reply

    Amazing writing. Really a lesson to learn surely life isn’t fair it should have both the sides of a coin that it is. And nice poetic words. life will sometimes be sour and sometimes be sweet but it will never continue to sour forever and sweet forver. life will have both then only life will be complete. Thank for ur inspiring writings.

    Regards,
    Johanna Christen Bobby
    Student of Mercy Ninan

    • narmadarao
      Posted at 09:39h, 07 July Reply

      Thank you so much for your kind words Johanna! Glad you know you liked it . And so lovely to hear your deep thoughts around it too. You are a delight 👏🏻👏🏻

  • charulataami
    Posted at 08:21h, 09 July Reply

    Great and so much to think and learn.

  • Smikrish
    Posted at 07:38h, 03 August Reply

    Thank you Narmada for reinforcing this truth about life. Beautiful! way of expressing through words, the essence of life.

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